Monday, April 23, 2018

JUST WHO ARE THE PEOPLE OF ANAPHORIA? THE DNA RESULTS ARE IN AND THE RESULTS WILL SURPRISE YOU!

As an island nation of exiles and foreigners, the assumption has always been that the genetic makeup of the Anaphorian people would be as mixed as the world at large. Well, surprise surprise. We now know this not to be the case.  DNA expert Jonathon Grasse of the Panpsychic Institute who has spent the last three years taking samples of any and everyone has come up with results no one expected, especially him.  Grasse found a universal set that seemed to be present in all inhabitants. Enough suspense! Here are his results. 

Escaped Cultivar 37%
Non-glacial Erratic 29%
Bee 17%
Bore Tide 13%
Antidote of Aether 3%

The remaining 1% seemed limited to the following almost exclusively.

Bark
Gecko
Meru Aloe 
Moss of Vale
Alluvial Fan 
Fulgurite 
Igneous Rock
Redwood Tree
Galician Porcupine

It is worth noting that there is a group in the Anaphoria midwest who identify as totally Bee even though this DNA was no higher than the rest of the island. Despite this, there is, and there has been no problem with their widespread universal acceptance islandwide.

Grasse said he was humbled in how helpful everyone was with some volunteering their own time to help and in even providing transportation to some of Anaphoria's most remote locales. Asked how he happened to pick Anaphoria as a place to investigate " he said he wasn't quite sure, but thought it might be his own DNA, "Apparently I’m 41% igneous rock, 32% redwood tree, 18% Galician porcupine, and 9% midwestern United States redneck." 

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